I aim to tell the truth.
When I blog, converse, write fiction, or tweet, I mean to be honest. I realize that in some instances I may be incorrect or ignorant; but I count those effects as acceptable in the face of being trustworthy and forthcoming, especially because I can correct the prior more easily than rebuild trust if it’s been broken.
That being said, I am compelled to be a bit vulnerable today with some thoughts that struck me during a recent run. These are not easy things for me to share, but I felt very compelled to just take a respite from usual updates in order to refocus.
I know that often on this blog and twitter, my thoughts pertain to encouragement and changing perspective toward God, and these are good things. I also realize that my Scripture memorization and described prayer life may sound as though I really “have it all together” and that I am ever-optimistic and at peace with myself and place in life.
Truth be told, however; I have very low days. Yes, on these days my focus is recalibrated in light of who God is and who I am in relation to him, but I usually don’t post until after that process of re-assessment occurs. Sometimes I will wrestle to spend time in prayer and Scripture reading; some days I fail to do so altogether. Sometimes my actions and deeds are faithless, truly lacking in any desire to glorify God. When I examine myself, I see a regenerate heart but one that is not nearly where I want it to be. I am prideful and selfish and arrogant so often it astounds me, and I fall into sins of gossip, of envy, and covetousness despite my desire to love.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I never want to encourage looking to me as a picture of virtue rather than looking to Christ. Inasmuch as you may value what I share, let the glory and honor be given to Christ alone. Jesus Christ, whose birth we celebrate at Christmas, is a picture of what Christianity should look like–our model should always be him. He is the one who needs to be seen as “having it all together”. He is the one who needs to be the example. He is the one worth of honor, praise, and adulation.
I am not sure why I felt this post was so necessary, but I did. As always, thanks for reading,