First and foremost, isn’t that title ghastly? As soon as I thought of it, I had to use it, because I loathed it. Now, moving forward, I share the below not for pity but for joy. For hope. The day you are reading this, you may find yourself where I was yesterday, and this may be the very thing you need to encourage you. That is why I share it, to remind you that the overcast sky will give way to sunlight again.
As of today, I seem to be exiting a very real season of trial. Granted, I can’t see the future, and I have no guarantees that things will suddenly become altogether easy tomorrow, but I have “that feeling”. You know the one. It’s the feeling you get when you lift your face toward the sun after an overcast week, when the heat rests on your face and seems to heal it. Right now I just feel the rays shining through the clouds.
I’ve missed the rays.
The storm has taken its toll, particularly on my writing. The older I get, the more I realize just how little time we have, except of course for those things for which we make the time. For those few aspects of our lives, we seem to always find the hour(s) we need. Perhaps this is praying, journaling, running, bathing—-whatever we feel we need to survive or what we value most, for that we make time.
I’ve found that my writing has not been on that list for the last month. Frankly, it’s frightened me to realize it. Sure, I’ve tried to keep a few writing commitments and jotted notes here and there, but the gritty need of it has not been on my soul.
Nor in my writing log.
At the close of each month, I take an inventory of my projects and the time I spent on them in the prior period. I am afraid to review April. Granted, I had a share of challenges to navigate, but I feel like the surrender of real writing was one of the higher costs I paid. And what’s worse, had I made the time to share, I would have probably had much to say—keen insight during the throws of pain and trial.
Now those thoughts are lost.
But that’s okay. What matters is what I make time to do tomorrow and the upcoming month. That’s how progress is made: forging ahead despite what came behind. Truth be told, some of my experiences over the last month are what one might call, “formative”; they will alter the way I operate moving forward, and they will be vivid as I return them in my mind’s eye. I’m excited to see what they yield, both on the page and off it. I hope to share it with you, eventually.
Please continue with me on the journey of discovery and thanks for reading,
Enjoy what you are reading??? Let’s connect. I'm currently on Instagram, Letterboxd, Flickr, Twitter, always as CJstunkard.