Weekly Reflections 05/12/2018

Plenty on the mind…

2018 is nearing the halfway mark. I think we should all let that sink in for a moment.

Yes, the new year we celebrated so recently is now nearly halfway finished. I don’t know why I keep focusing on the fast passage of time this year. Perhaps I am just reminding myself that this year is going to end more quickly than I think; and if I desire to get done my 2018 goals list, I had better stay motivated and keep pushing; otherwise the year will be over before I know it. Regardless, it seems that this year is passing at an incredible speed, and I am not really sure how I feel about it.

But, I can debrief that next January. For now, I’ll just focus on this past week.

1). The Week in Brief: “Lots on the Heart and Mind” .I’ll be forthcoming. I did not wake up in the best headspace today. The reasoning is not necessarily something I want to get into here online, but I’ll just say that from the moment I woke my thoughts were negative and they stayed that way for the better part of the morning. Frankly, sitting down and getting this post finished has been one of the major things that’s changed my attitude. Truth be told, despite how I was feeling this morning, this was another good week.

Granted, there are about three major things on my to do list that I failed to accomplish, but those withstanding, I felt I lived well. One item left incomplete is a letter I’ve been meaning to write but for some reason cannot get myself to sit down and actually compose. Another was sorting through a large bin of personal items to sell, which just feels somewhat daunting. And the third is listing items for a family member for whom I am selling things on eBay, but I don’t have expertise in the subject matter, so I have been unmotivated to actually list the items. All that to say, all three of these had better be finished by my debrief next week.

But I won’t let those three failures define this past week. The work week was good, in terms of both my quality of work as well as my production. In fact, this is probably been my best week in the last 3 to 4 months. It was highly manageable and I felt satisfied about the work that I finished. Of course, this makes me expect that the following weeks are going to be real doozies, because that’s just the way things work in my office–you get a nice manageable week and then things just seem to not go your way for the next month. Plus, I know that the casework is still rough overall on the floor, based on the help and support I was offering to other people. My time is coming. And I hope to handle it well when it does. At home I continue to be intentional about spending time with my son and trying to meet the needs of my wife. I continue to feel i’m not doing very well at that, but I am trying. On a daily basis, being a daddy is immensely rewarding. I love that boy more than I ever thought I could love anyone.

2). More Hope and Happenings

Other things worth mentioning, my wife wanted to finally see The Last Jedi last night, so we went ahead and rented it from Amazon. I will admit it is not the atrocity that I remembered it being when I saw it in the theater. The things about it that I really hated seem to take far less screen time this viewing. I’m still not a fan and that’s fine. The new trilogy isn’t for me, and it doesn’t need to be.  I’m okay with that.

Jackie Hill Perry dropped a new album yesterday through Humble Beast records. I’ve only gotten to listen to it once, and it’s got some good tracks.

My son is turning two on Monday. I can hardly believe it, and I guess I won’t be calling him my “baby” anymore. He is officially entered toddlerhood and all of the fun things that come with that.

Also, I am not dutifully focused on any new writing ventures. I was talking to a coworker about this past week and I told her that there’s so much pain and angst and desire inside of me, that eventually it will find a creative outlet. I simply don’t know how to focus it into a compelling story at present. I had a few possibilities, but I abandoned all of them. I’m really not sure how to take all of the stuff I want to say and put it into narrative. I will, but not now.

Also, I realize this is the solitary post for this week, I was hoping that in April I would get into the rhythm of blogging for a second time during the work week, but that rhythm simply did not form itself. I may try to make some adjustments in my morning routine to fit it in there, but I also don’t want to get into the habit of posting things simply to post them just so I can have extra content in the week. I have a few posts on deck but I do need to write, but they are going to take some time to compose.

Oh, and obviously still have stuff up on eBay.

3). Recommended Media

And speaking of writing, here’s some valuable insight from John piper on how he writes books. Plus. Call by John Piper to never abandon hope

Here is an awesome interview with Ryan Coogler , director of Black Panther, which is so far my favorite film of the year.

Speaking of Black Panther, the blu-Ray comes out on Tuesday. I feel it’s the best movie that Marvel has released. It is half James Bond thrill ride, and half epic tale of family, honor, and power. It’s a pretty stunning achievement frankly, and if you enjoy superhero movies but did not see it, you’ll get your chance on Blu-ray starting Tuesday.

Also, I felt this video was worth sharing as well: a fascinating TEDtalk about the injustice of the bail system

 

#onthedaily recap

This week , I was Grateful for my God in Heaven, sound of birds chirping at Sunrise, my son, a low key work week, God’s faithfulness despite my treachery, and the weekend !!

This week, I Focused on getting to bed early (before 10:30), getting to bed by 10:30 PM (since I did not do it yesterday), positive thoughts and memories regarding relationships, battling negative thoughts and leanings, staying calm and working hard, and enjoying time with family!

This week, I Refused to not Worry about possible problems that are not yet manifesting themselves, about small mistakes, hard to consequences to my good choices , solving problems that are out of my control, tomorrow’s weather ruining our weekend plans, and unmet expectations and desires!

 

Collectible of the Week : Movie Masters JOKER by Mattel. This figure has passed through my hands a few times, but this specific interpretation of the Clown Prince of Crime is more relevant to me now than he has been previously. Given the amount of recent study and self-analysis I’ve done regarding the danger of chaos in the life of an anxious person, the figure kinda represents a picture of who a person like me could become if left unchecked. It’s sobering to consider, and it’s also a fantastically rendered action figure.

About C.J.:
Enjoy what you are reading??? Let’s connect. I'm currently on Instagram, LetterboxdFlickrTwitter, always as CJstunkard.

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