Weekly Debrief : 10/20/2018

Saturdays.

Like I said last week, I’m aiming to get these up on Saturdays from here until 12/21 when I go on hiatus for end of year.

Here’s to one week of success!!!

Well, at least in one facet of life, anyway.

1). The Week in Brief “I Can Feel Your Anger.” 

The emperor said the above to Luke Skywalker during the throne room temptation in Return of the Jedi.  The villain is trying to get our hero to embrace anger, give into rage, and abandon his quest for redemption to instead commit patricide and cement his place as a servant of evil.

My life is not nearly as intense as this, but even lower middle-class existence has its challenges. This past week, I had to accept that above observation could be said of me: I carry a fair amount of anger. Apparently, many men of my age and stage have this issue, particularly in the present generation. Frankly, I can understand why. One’s mid-thirties are a time wherein one feels they should be more on top of things than they are, able to achieve more than they can, and ultimately trying to hold life together despite the disappointments of the past and the uncertainties of the future. When I hear that anyone in their thirties is having issues, I understand. And I can empathize.

But also I have to be honest: the responsibility to recognize and process this anger belongs solely to the individual who carries it. I know this is a tall order to place on folks; but be assured I apply to myself as much as anyone else, and possibly with more severity than others would.

This week, I have had to come to grips some resentment and rage boiling beneath the surface and digging a well of bitterness in my soul. This is a frightening thing to realize, especially when one wonders how long this emotion has been festering and to what degree it has damaged life indirectly.

But one cannot become lost in the past if he or she hopes to improve the present and build toward a better future. One must forgive his or her own failures as much as one is willing and able to forgive others. And this is a hard thing. But a necessary one. I know that both are true, as I end this week and head into next, just beginning to process what I’ve realized: I have more anger than I previously knew, and I must now address for the good of myself and others. I have no excuses, I have no other options, not if I am working toward becoming the person I want to be.

2). More Hope and Happenings

eBay is in full swing from now until the end of November. I have a large bit of inventory both listed AND pending. MY HOPE: Have everything purchased to sell in 2018 sold by the first week of December. It’s a grand hope, but I’m holding to it.

For the third week in a row…I have not played Final Fantasy III. My goal is to grind a bit while my son naps tomorrow and maybe I can even play 1 to 2 nights this week if all my ebay inventory is prepped. WE’ll see. For now, I am resigning myself to failing at this goal by year end.

I watched what I ate this week, and I weigh in again on Monday. I anticipate that the 200 lb reading was an anomaly, and I will be back under this week.

Again, I am spending far too much time on Youtube watching conspiracy videos, but I also watched a fair amount of clips, speeches, and sermons this week too. Nothing to share this week, which kinda tells me I am not listening to the right content these days. I did rebuy the soundtrack to Revenge of the Sith in order to get the Star Wars:  A Musical Journey bonus DVD.  Both are excellent pieces of media for fans of the saga (meaning the 6-films prior to Disney’s getting the brand).

 

#onthedaily RECAP (again, missing a day)

This Week, I was Grateful for sleep, God in whom I can place absolute trust,my family and friends,another day of life, and our great local mechanic!

This Week, I Focused on giving people attention when they request it, personal homework, working confidently, staying gracious despite exhaustion, and enjoying time with my family !

This week, I refused to Worry about interruptions interfering with productivity, upcoming financial trials,mistakes that can be corrected, upcoming car repair costs and my many failures !

About C.J.:
Enjoy what you are reading??? Let’s connect. I'm currently on Instagram, LetterboxdFlickrTwitter, always as CJstunkard.

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