Weekly Reflection : 10/27/2018

Morning Post Office Run

Two weeks, ago, I said that I would be getting my debriefs posted on Saturdays until I go on hiatus, from December 21 until January 15, 2019. Last week, I made it happen; here’s to two-week-streak of meeting the goal!!!

And here’s to another week of living.

1). The Week in Brief “The Mountain Before Me.” 

When talking to my therapist this past Tuesday, I told him that I felt as if I am completely out of the pit of the last year. And that’s the reality: Summer of 2017 until at least March of 2018 was life in “the pit”. Yes, some weeks were better than others, and we saw progress here and there, but life did not really improve well until Spring of 2018, and the improvements were difficult.

Yet life has continued to improve to the point where I feel “level” again. We have continued to process through feelings and moods without medication, and the lifestyle adjustments that we’ve made have had real and lasting benefits.

However, the truth is that even with the successes and growth of the last 6 months, I have much yet to do. I have a mountain to climb—a mountain of ambition, interests, obstacles, and fears. I am not where I would like to be; I still have much I want to achieve—too much, really,  in too many areas, to a degree that I cannot seem to focus and do anything well in any of them. I have much to say, but know not how to say it, where to say it, or to whom. I have a great deal of things yet to overcome before I feel I am in a place where I want to be—where our household is living healthy lives both as individuals and as a unit, moving forward together with a clear understanding of the present and a focus on the future, without regret, resentment, and bitterness. This is a tall order—one so tall most families ignore it altogether.

This is a hopeful time. A helpful time. I know how low I can get, and I am beginning to understand why I go there. Now is the time to look forward, to climb atop a pile of interests, desires, passions, and ambitions, look at to the horizon and choose a clear, focused path forward. There’s a mountain ahead of me, but that’s better than being in a pit.

 

2). More Hope and Happenings

eBay ! eBAY !! EBAY !!!  Yes, with over 200 listings presently with over 20 waiting in the wings, eBay is booming more in the last few weeks of 2018 than any other time this year, maybe any other time in my life. Thankfully, the money is flowing as a result. I need it to. Between now and the end of the year, we have a number of costs to cover, and I am relying on my hustle to get us there.

In related news, I have begun putting STRONGHOLD bookmarks in some orders, and I am getting the slightest bit of traffic from them, which is neat.

And speaking of STRONGHOLD , I received an order for 15 more copies of the book to go to an overseas seller, which is encouraging.

If I have been tracking this correctly, it has now been a month since I last played Final Fantasy III. This is sad; no way to spin it.

As anticipated, I was back under 200 lbs this week (196 !!!!).

Again, no new media to share this week. I am thinking of taking a Youtube hiatus entirely in November and just listening to podcasts or music. Music is wonderful. Last week I heard a good deal of the score to the Star Wars franchise (including the post Lucas era), thanks to Amazon Prime streaming.  I am also going to look into the best things to learn by listening only and possibly focus on doing that to some degree in November. If you have any input, feel free to send it my way.

#onthedaily RECAP (without missing a day, Hooray!!!)

This Week, I was Grateful for insights and revelations about my mind and heart,my wife, those willing to speak truth in times of insanity, my childhood, God’s mercy, and Hope Amidst Hardship !

This Week, I Focused on developing tools to combat despair, getting stuff done, refusing to stress over difficult targets, remaining calm and collected under pressure, enduring, and enjoying time at home !

This week, I refused to Worry about yesterday’s shortcomings, all intend to finish by year end, the failures of days passed, money, all the personal work I have to do by end of year, and being an ideal version of myself that may not even be possible !

About C.J.:
Enjoy what you are reading??? Let’s connect. I'm currently on Instagram, LetterboxdFlickrTwitter, always as CJstunkard.

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *