I will not lie: I cary far more fear than I would like: fear of failure, fear of loss, fear of poverty, fear of rejection…and so on. I don’t like to admit it. It’s embarrassing. The Lord himself, his angels, and numerous passages in the Scripture command against it…but I keep on fearing.
And yet…God remains faithful. Again. and Again. and Again.
There’s plenty of updates I can offer. The first is that our financial situation has become more dire than I initially anticipated when changing jobs. It’s going to be a week-to-week struggle for a while, but week-over-week the Lord continues to provide.
One of the key ways he is doing this is eBay. My store is in full throttle; and at this point I believe that my personal collection makes up half of the inventory. Plus, I have a few hundred more items to add. eBay is giving everyone thousands of free listings until April 24; I have exactly 2 weeks from yesterday to maximize the time. The best part is that it’s forcing me to get my collection in order, something to do for sometime. The eBay portion of life has been a big win in a big way this week. Again, the Lord caring for us.
Our household continues to be healthy, continues to get through each day, and our CARS continue to run. Again, the Lord looking out for us.
So why do I fear, why do I keep being afraid? I think it’s just because of the way that I’ve my mind has developed over the last few years. Whereas I used to expect things to work out well and for them to maintain ease, I now expect disaster, for things to turn poorly and require far more effort, and I expect to eat more costs, more pain, and more frustration than I anticipate. I do not know when his mindset will change. I feel like it’s something I have brought up on here again and again. It is what it is.
But the Lord is good. Despite my sin, he keeps looking out for us. He is a good Lord, and he is alive.