06/15/2020 Present Concern and Future Hope

Enjoying Fam time.

Today I am unsure where to begin. My heart and mind are pulled in so many directions that it seems almost impossible to grasp onto any coherent group of thoughts that would warrant a post. Most of the time, when I sit in the silence and think, my thoughts are not ones I would prefer to share.

With all that is happening in the world and all that needs to be addressed within the walls of my home and within the invisible walls of my stone heart, I feel incapable of writing anything worth sharing right now.

Maybe that’s good. Maybe I should remain silent for a little longer. I’ll admit that I’ve been triggered more than once in the last few weeks by words, images, and opinions. As far as the larger issues facing the nation where I reside, I feel like my input is more white noise than helpful insight. Plus, nothing makes me want to remove myself from a conversation than people demanding I speak in order to further their point of view. Most folks demanding condemning my silence would be rather displeased with what I have to say.

So here’s some stuff. I continue to wrestle with getting back into writing. My hope is that within two years of my current job I will be able stop doing eBay 20 to 30 hours a week and will instead be able to give about 15 of those hours to my employer and get 5 to 10 hours back in personal time. If I break out 3 of those hours to 30 minutes a day of writing six days a week, it would probably be very good for my soul. Of course, I’m still having trouble focusing on what to say and why to say it and for whom. That could be another post. Maybe it should be. Regardless, here are some initial impressions I had when reflecting on this matter both last week and this week–thoughts written in the midst of my rest days just thinking about life, God, and being a citizen his kingdom rather than the world’s.

I think that pretty much sums up where I am these days.

That being said, here was this week’s self-pep talk

And In other news, my good friends Chris and Dean bought me #Lego #NinjaGo figures for my birthday (among other treats), and the packaging is so awesome I have refused to open it. Until I do, I am using them as arcade games and showcasing two RESCUE HEROES– Fire Chief Billy Blazes and Police Officer Jake Justice–enjoying leisure together, on break from their lives of sacrifice and excellence. As silly as this is (and I know it is rather silly), I kinda feel like this display is good for our home right now.

#ToyTimeTogether
About C.J.:
Enjoy what you are reading??? Let’s connect. I'm currently on Instagram, LetterboxdFlickrTwitter, always as CJstunkard.