07/20/2020 Hope, Vision, and Action

Still contemplative.

I’ve written recently of a desire to maximize my current professional opportunities. I’ve also mentioned my longing to write again—and to write bold projects requiring courage. Of course, i am concerned about my ability to do so given my consistent need to earn extra income on eBay, which eats a fair amount of time and won’t be ending until next year.

So now the question becomes: how do I navigate these responsibilities and goals without all of them suffering due to overreach. On top of that, how do I also consistently maintain and improve my home, my marriage, and my relationships.

I know this is possible; I see others living it. Sadly, I don’t respond well. I envy those who know how to optimize their lives. I am jealous of their ability to see the landscape of their aims and get them all aligned. I covet their results. I know that this is sinful, that I have crossed the line from admiration. I admit it, and it’s an additional area on which I am at work, though unsuccessfully.

So I will go back to the initial question in light of this additional self-awareness: how do I cease comparing myself to others, avoid falling into sin if doing so, and navigate both my personal and professional responsibilities and goals without dropping any of these things I want to juggle?

Best answer I have: love God, love others, and improve one area, one step at a time, until either I can comfortably and competently increase my responsibilities or recalibrate to only include those things I can do well.

This may mean I don’t get to start writing yet, or maybe I only write one day a week, or maybe I push further on eBay in hopes of minimizing the effort and energy required to concur the store’s operation. Whatever the answer, this much is clear: God is true; God is first. Love for him must be the foundation. Love for others—my family, my employer, and others with whom I come into contact—will drive the actions. And finally I will consider what must be done, then what I most desire to do, and finally set reasonable goals, expectations, and experiences to see all things come to pass.